Wednesday, 25 March 2015

the Oversharer



My quirky personality traits tend to include over-sharing! There has been numerous occasions when a little over-sharing has landed me into some warm steamy poop! I can't help it if I'm the one that points out the elephant in the room.  My sense of humor and quick witted sarcasm usually has undertones of truth all over it! So in my caring over sharing way here's how to recognize those toxic people in your life and how to get rid of them!

 


No Integrity - People who think it's okay to treat you badly because they believe there are no consequences for their actions.  These people have a complete lack of perception about how what they say, or do, effect other people. If they are aware, then they just don't give a fat rats and probably fit in the narcissistic personality disorder category. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder

Michelle's over-sharing critique  These people are bought into our life to teach us what NOT to accept.  If their jealously, bitterness, insecurities or just plain nastiness doesn't have you running for the door, then RUN FORREST RUN. You do not need these people in your life. You are only there to make them feel better about themselves, not the other way around. 


Non Sharers -  People who wont tell you where they bought that pretty scarf, give you a copy of a family recipe to chocolate brownies, share business contacts bla bla bla and the list goes on.

Michelle's over-sharing critique  These types of people tend to ask lots of questions and have no problems asking you for information, while their minds are constantly ticking away with their own agendas. They typically change the subject, dodge answering direct questions or give vague responses. 'I bought it somewhere in the city I think, I can't remember now'. They can be private, thrifty, people who seem to succeed ALOT.   They go on their overseas holiday every other year but won't share the deals, websites or travel agencies they used. After all, who wouldn't like to  plan a decent family holiday on a budget?  I don't understand these people (that's because I'm an over-sharer). Maybe they feel they have invested so much time and energy planning this for themselves that they have little desire to share the abundance with others. These people are here to teach us what we don't want in relationships.  A friendship, relationship or partnership is about giving and receiving. There needs to be an equal exchange of energy or it upsets the balance.  Stop giving and see what happens.  I bet you find the relationship just slips away never to be seen again. 



Facebook Stalkers - They never 'like' anything. They never comment. They never post,  but they raise their ugly stalker heads if they accidentally drop something in conversation and you're like 'WTF? How did you know?' (oh that's right we're FB friends).  Sometimes they don't even use their own accounts to do it! "OMG" I hear you say. I know, unbelievable isn't it!  They seem to know everything about you but you know very little if anything about whats going on in their life.   They collate information like mini computers and some even use you to start gossip and create drama in your life (gasp). These FB stalkers also THINK they know you.  FYI - No you don't FB Stalkers, you see what I choose to share THAT IS ALL!
 
Michelle's over-sharing critique Sometimes these people also fit in the NON SHARER category.  I know, scary to think they have a foot in both camps.  These people are here to teach us how to use Facebook! RESTRICTED ACCESS PEOPLE.  PUBLIC posts limit what you share with these types of people. Understandably sometimes you may use restricted status because you don't want people at work or school encroaching into your personal life, other times its to just keep the busy bodies out! There is also a DE-FRIEND button. Don't be afraid to use it. 






Last but not least 

Boundary breeches -  Moochers also fit under this category (Someone who always asks for things and favors constantly and will never leave you alone. They will ask for money, rides to places, for you to do simple tasks they could do easily but they think the whole world should cater to them, basically just a leech to everyone around them, a parasite to the community) . Warning - also watch out for the Non sharers and the No Integrity people. These people feel they have a sense of entitlement, take no personal responsibility for their choices or have no boundaries themselves.  All these types of people will encroach on your life taking advantage of your generous giving nature.  Sadly they are usually close friends and family who make the most of putting you in extremely uncomfortable situations where you may feel awkward or embarrassed to have to stand your ground and say NO! Just like that overseas relative who was supposed to crash on your couch for a couple of weeks and is still there three months later.

Michelle's over-sharing critique The takers will continue to take as long as the givers keep on giving.  STOP DOING IT! You will be surprised at how the dynamics of this type of relationship will change when you do.  The Boundary Breeches may just be No Integrity, Narcissistic Personality Disorder types in 'sheep's' clothing.




Do yourself a favor and start to eliminate these toxic people from your life.  Take yourself off the SALE shelf and put up the price tag. You and your time are worth so more, so give it to those that truly value you.




 






Sunday, 1 March 2015

I have Lynch Syndrome



I was a normal six year old girl enjoying a carefree life, laughing with my friends, and starting my second year at primary school. I was Daddy’s little princess and my life literally changed overnight. My childhood was ripped away from me and the harsh reality of Dad’s death stole my innocence. It all seemed to happen so fast — my tiny little head did not have time to take in the reality of it all. Having been diagnosed in December of 1977 with a secondary bowel cancer, my Dad died four months later at the age of 36 in April 1978. After my Dad’s death, I was thrown into a world of grief; I no longer had my Dad to comfort and to hug me. I no longer had my Dad to read me bedtime stories, to tuck me into bed at night, to praise me after my ballet concerts, or to hold my little hand when we went for a walk. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my Dad had Lynch syndrome.

Experiencing the death of a parent at a young age is certainly a character building experience and can be the catalyst for a young girl to develop “daddy issues”. These daddy issues manifested themselves in the form of  manipulation and promiscuous behaviors during my teenage years. I sought father figures in all my male relationships throughout my twenties, which only led to broken partnerships and a failed marriage. Independence was my armor and I gave power to the masculine side of myself and not necessarily in a healthy or productive way. I consciously quelled the very essence of my feminine side down. I feared I was weak, could easily be hurt, and was vulnerable — I was a survivor who needed to be in control.

My second marriage came with its own set of challenges. Despite our backgrounds and former spouses, our union seemed strong but after ten years of financial pressure, challenging teenage stepchildren and two babies of our own I had started seeking a way out. I began with riding my bike taking every opportunity to escape. I had commenced self-development class once a week in the hope of rediscovering myself, picked up a part-time job, which got me out of the house mainly at nights and on weekends because blended family time was finally taking its toll. I just couldn’t do it anymore. It broke my heart to be despised in my own home every fortnight; I was at a complete loss. The environment around me was becoming so toxic and I didn’t know how to fix it. If I really wanted to self sabotage my life the Universe was about to give me a permanent way out if I chose to accept it.

You know when you just know certain things? Well, my intuition knew that I had cancer even before the doctor’s appointment. My husband and I went up to the mountains and sat quietly in a little tea house. We held hands, cried and made a promise to each other that no matter what the diagnosis we would get through it together. We walked to a small gift shop and I was drawn to purchase a beautiful aquamarine pendant. I didn’t know at the time but the benefit of using this crystal is that it aids you to let go of emotional issues from your past that you have been holding on to. When I paid for the pendant we started talking to the owner of the shop, she just happened to ask what my star sign was. When the word “Cancer” fell out of my mouth I just knew the heaviness in my heart was a fear I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to face. It wasn’t just my star sign, that same afternoon my doctor confirmed I had stomach cancer.

 During treatment and surgery something beautiful happened. That little girl that lost her Father resurfaced. She finally had an opportunity to grieve the loss of her Dad. She looked into her own children’s eyes at night and felt the heartache her Dad must have felt, knowing he was not going to see her grow up. She had time to sit on the floor and play with her boys. She had to hand all the masculine stuff over to her husband from the running of the house to the organising of everyone’s life. She only had one job – to get her adult self well so she could love and guide her little boys into men. The cancer diagnosis exposed the my feminine side that had been so carefully hidden high in my subconscious for so long, had finally re-emerged, and spilled back over into my life.



I took my power back, faced my own mortality, beat the statistics, and chose to live a life of self awareness. My feminine side was not to be feared. She is kind, nurturing, creative, healing, and most of all incredibly powerful. Allowing the creative side of myself to explore my emotions through art was my modality for healing during my illness. Painting was my passion prior to my illness but the work I was starting to produce began surprising me.

michelle_potter_spirit_artistYes, I have Lynch syndrome, but it does not take over every thought of every minute of my life. I am not my genes and I am most certainly not the cancer. I have used the experience to empower my life and to make a difference. I count, I am a survivor but I am also a creator, a healer, a mother and a wife. I am grateful for the knowledge of my genetics because I can now be a proactive, a happier person who doesn’t sit in drama or sweat the small stuff. My perspective and ability to bring hope and healing to others through my experience and my artwork has changed my life. The cancer and the Lynch syndrome diagnosis have opened my eyes, saved my marriage and awakened me to possibilities far beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

Michelle Lykokapis
Melbourne, Australia
http://michellepotter.com.au

My special thanks goes to Georgia Hurst who has featured me a guest blogger on her website http://www.ihavelynchsyndrome.com/ .  For more information on Lynch Syndrome please visit Georgia's website.

http://www.ihavelynchsyndrome.com/guestblogger/#.VPOO6OGHjd5