Sunday, 5 May 2019

Shadow Work



What if we could see our true selves?  An unfiltered reflection of this reality.  An honest glimpse of our archetypal natures and an opportunity to look past our own ego and see into the maps of our soul.  What if we had another physical version of ourselves to show us the way.  Someone to hold our hand through hard times, delight in our achievements and encourage us when we need some motivation.  A twin compass that can give us guidance and assist us in seeking what it is we have agreed to fulfill in this chapter of our souls’ learning.  

On my personal journey using many healing modalities, courses, teachers and self-help books, I have heard time and time again that we already hold the answers to our own questions.  That we already possess all the tools to be able to do our own inner work, but what does that mean exactly?  Have you ever heard the saying “Take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror?”  If we really want to grow, then we have to be prepared to embrace all aspects of ourselves and learn from them which means accepting and working with our Shadow.   

Our Shadow aspect is one of our greatest learning tools and working with it, rather than against it brings an enormous amount of growth and insight.   When life throws uncertainty or unpleasant situations our way it also gives us opportunities for personal growth and development.  I am not suggesting you must suffer from adversity to learn, but the Universe certainly has a way of getting our attention if we continue to ignore the lessons. 

The truth is confronting and can often show us that we need to implement change.  As creatures of habit, often even the thought of consciously moving ourselves into discomfort is enough to stop us from doing so.  Because of this we get stuck in a type of patterning loop.  This loop of illusion can integrate itself so much into your psyche that it starts to form into your belief patterns.  This is working against your Shadow which can lead to destructive and self-sabotaging behavior, stagnation and dis-ease.  It can be deceptively subtle, so much so that sometimes nothing short of a major life trauma can shift your perception of reality.  

When we ignore or fail to listen to the answers from our Shadow aspect then we are denying access to the part of ourselves that want us to grow.   Our inner work starts and stops with how much we are prepared to hear, transform and integrate into our lives.   Our Shadow is not something to be suppressed, hidden or to be treated like the enemy.  It can be our biggest ally.  Our best decisions are made when we have clarity of thought.  For this we need to come from a space of love and non-judgement of ourselves.   All of ourselves – not just the good bits!

Stand and take an honest look in the mirror.  Are you ready to access those tools you already possess?  Do you want to dive deep into your inner world to discover the answers that await you?  The vessel that stands reflecting back at you, he/she is the one you are looking for.   

Michelle Potter

Michelle Potter Visionary Artist

Monday, 4 February 2019

Obstacles are Detours in the Right Direction




Most of us make life so complicated, like a pressure cooker of expectations all thrown together in a massive soup of exhaustion and stress.  Then all of a sudden, your body screams STOP and you have no choice because the Universe does it for you.   

If you have ever been through a cancer journey, then you would understand the weight of getting through another year.  I rarely announce it anymore, because those that don’t understand may look at the celebration as an opportunity of glorifying my own self-importance.   Lots of people get through cancer right? Just get over it already.  Quoting Kerwin Rae ‘ Your problems don’t make you special because everyone’s got them.’ *BTW actually a really good article  . The problem is, this is not like a cold or flu.  You don’t just get over cancer and get on with life like it never happened.  

The fall out from my surgery has been huge, more than anyone around me can appreciate let alone understand.  Not only did I discover that I carry a genetic predisposition for gastrointestinal cancers, I have gone ahead and had preventative surgery to eliminate some of them.  Do you know how many organs the human body can live without? I certainly do because I’m missing quite a few of them.

I never thought that becoming a Light-worker would be quite so literal.  I joke about being a pure chancel of light and that the only thing they cannot surgically remove is my sense of humor.  I even like to tell people if I was abducted by aliens they would transport me back thinking they’d accidentally picked up one of their own!  

So lets fast forward to 2018. This was the first year in 7 years (colonoscopy/endoscopy excluded) that I did not have to go under any major anesthetics.  I managed to keep all my organs and only lost a few nasty polyps, good riddance to those.  Then in November I started to develop tinnitus. A constant ringing in my ears that would drive anyone crazy.  One night I went to bed and the ON switch in my brain got stuck.  

If there is one thing that my cancer and gastrectomy taught me it was to be my own advocate.  To be aware that there are many options out there to try and to never give up if one thing doesn’t work.  Even when the experts in the field tell you ‘There is nothing further we can do, go home and learn to live with it.’  I consider myself a walking miracle so if I can find my way through to a solution then I will do everything I can to find it.  I have become a seeker.     

Not all questions can be answered with Western medical solutions and other times we have to wait for technology to catch up.   In the meantime, it is important to find new ways of being.  If this new condition has taught me anything it is that I really need to look after myself more.  Its like a forced holiday but with self-care.  I now sleep with BOSS Sleep buds.  An expensive but necessary part of keeping my sanity.  I have been meditating, soaking my feet in epson salts, fine tuning my supplements and giving myself time to ground my feet in the Earth and sit in nature.

Being your own best advocate also means being pro-active.  Go to the doctor, have all the required tests.  Anxiety and PTSD in cancer patients can take an enormous toll on your mental health and well-being.  To many sleepless nights and I know I am unable to function as a human being.   Seek help where you need it but do not look to others for the answers.  Sometimes its about listening to your own inner voice and following your intuition.

Remembering each experience, good or bad is just an experience.  If you can learn what works for you then you can share your findings with others.  Sometimes just having one person who understands you can make all the difference in the world.  

I do not understand why this is happening to me now, but I can tell you it is making me step out of my comfort zone and forcing me to seek out new and different things.  It is hard work, annoying, frustrating and uncomfortable because I like routine, organization and knowing what tomorrow is going to bring.  I’m not going to lie, when this first started it completely sucked the sparkle out of me and I just managed to grab hold before I went into an uncontrolled tail spin of depression.  
  
I have to remind myself that every time I am forced to jump in feet first I learn something incredibly new about myself.  As Gabby Bernstein suggests there are many moments where obstacles are opportunities to see things differently and I choose to see this as a detour in the right direction.  

The Universe has my back! 

Michelle Potter

The Best Version of Me






What do you do when the best version of yourself is never enough for someone else?  

This belief pattern started when I was eight years old. My mum met and married a man after a whirlwind romance.  My father’s replacement would literally put his hand out and hold me at arm’s length when I went to give him a hug.  This rejection caused my little heart to cry with despair.  After losing my father to cancer a couple of years prior all I was looking for was his unconditional love and affection.  I couldn’t change want I wanted, I was just a kid.   

I fell in love at twenty and married a man whose attention was anywhere other than the relationship he had committed to.  Reinforcing the belief that the best version of me was not worth loving and was never going to be good enough for anyone. 

My second husband and I met at work. As like attracts like, we were thrown together by the Universe with our pending divorces and emotional distress.   After a few false starts we decided to try and make a go of it.   Here’s the irony, I thought he was the one that came with baggage!  I had cut ties from my ex and saw myself as a childless, free spirit ready to explore the world of the Thirty somethings.  Whereas he came with two young children, parents steeped in tradition and an ex-wife, who for the sake of the children was still very much in the picture.  

With the addition of two impressionable girls into my life I did not want to repeat the experiences I had as a child.  So, I always went over and above to make them feel comfortable, welcome and loved.  You could say at that time I had a Wonder Woman complex.  If I wasn’t organized, then I couldn’t control the outcome.  If I couldn’t control the outcome, well that thought was terrifying.   I was conscious of needing to feel accepted and I was literally stuck in a pattern of old belief systems that were self-destructive. I was on a collision course heading for disaster.  

Eleven years into our relationship I was diagnosed with stomach cancer.  At the time circumstances would have it that neither of my step daughters wanted a relationship with me.  I felt totally and utterly defeated.  A crescendo of years’ worth of self-sacrifice and desperation to be loved.  The ultra-best version of me was never going to be good enough, ever.   So where did this leave me?  What lesson was I not learning here? Why did each karmic challenge seem more heart wrenching and harder to pull through? This one contributing to and almost costing me my life.  

The original wound of my eight-year-old self was still playing out and cancer was my opportunity to fully awaken and see things very clearly.  It was never about the people that rejected me, they were just the mirror of what I didn’t want to see in myself.  Being brave enough to confront my old beliefs allowed me to understand that I have purpose and no longer needed to look outside of myself for love, acceptance or validation.  

I love my authentic self and thank my teachers in life for helping me find her. 

Michelle Potter
Visionary Artist