I have long forgotten asking the Universe why things happen the way they do. I never project too far into the future because I am never sure what is around the corner for me, so I live my days as much in the moment as I can and surround myself with those that I love.
What I do know is life is so fragile and can change at any moment. We all have to ride the waves and our attitudes define who we become on the other side of our experiences. Then you have those defining moments in which your life will never be the same again. Through my own experience, I have learned than sometimes when we take too long to make decisions the Universe makes them for us. It can shake us down to our very core and be excruciatingly painful both physically and mentally. It makes us reevaluate who we are, why we are here, what we want and what we are supposed to be doing on this crazy planet.
Pain makes the world stop. You look around a world which was normal the day before and yet it now seems so far from the truth we wonder how people can carry on without noticing. Its like all of a sudden we wake up and everyone else seems to be sleepwalking. The shift in us can be so great that it can change the course of who we are and where we thought we were going.
Just as our bodies become sensitive and cannot longer tolerate certain foods over time, it becomes the same with people and situations. For a time we still eat things knowing that we are going to pay for them later. Over time our tolerance levels get lower and lower until our bodies immediately reject or react to something that it doesn’t like. As we become more and more aware of ourselves the same things happen in our relationships. That old friendship circle maybe tolerable for a while, but then you will find you become less and less like the people you once called friends. Socializing with them will become so unappealing that the only logical thing to do is to move away from it. Friends will change, relationships will change, jobs will change as each one no longer is a reflection of you. This then has to be replaced with something new, which is another entirely different blog for another day.
During my recovery a few things stood out that were glaringly obvious. I discovered the people that really cared, and the ones that just said they did. I noticed the people that I could have genuine meaningful conversations with and those that were transparent and shallow. The kindness of strangers restored my faith in humanity and those I thought would support me during my illness are the ones that disappointed me the most. I learned never to underestimate the power of kindness and who I should spend my most precious gift of time on.
All I know is I am wide ‘AWAKE’ and working my way towards becoming an ‘ENLIGHTENED’ being. After all, we are all headed in the same direction, I just prefer to do it with humor and a light heart.